Upcoming Royal Report - Date and time change

The next Royal Report will be on Tuesday April 1, 2008 (no joke!). I will post the podcast widget once the show is done.

The topic will be: What's wrong with wanting to be a princess? Feminists decry little girls dressing up in Disney Princess Costumes, but is there really anything wrong with it?

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal Report for Tuesday March 25, 2008 - Who should succeed the Queen when she dies?

Join me for my next show on Sunday March 30th. The topic will be: What's wrong with wanting to be a princess? Feminists decry little girls dressing up in Disney Princess Costumes? But is there anything really wrong with it?

Upcoming Royal Report: Recent Angus Reid poll

The next Royal Report will be on Sunday March 23rd, 2008 - 9:00PM EST.

I will discuss the results of a recent Angus Reid poll about the future of the monarchy in Canada.

I hope that you will join me!

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal and The Clueless - Episode 3

On the last episode, William and Kate discussed their relationship before heading off to a make or break holiday, where they continued talking. Now they are in Klosters, the skiing playground of the rich and famous, favorite ski-resort to Prince Charles, and according to the official website: those hungry for discovery.

Presently, William and Kate sit in the car riding up to the top of the hill. Unbeknownst to Kate, Jecca Craig is riding along. William uncomfortably sits between them.

Kate: (noticing Jecca for the first time) What are you doing here?

Jecca: I'm on holiday. (Jecca notices William for the first time) Oh William, fancy meeting you here!

William: (to Kate) Jecca, this is Kate, my girlfriend. Kate this is my good friend Jecca.

Jecca: (her hair blows in the wind) Yes, we're very good friends, aren't we William?

Kate: (Testy) I see. William, wasn't Camilla a 'good friend' of your father?

William is uncomfortable. They're riding in a double chair-lift.

Jecca: (to Kate) Yes, William is very loyal.

Kate: (to Jecca) Stay away from my man!

Jecca: (to Kate) Make me!

Kate lunges at Jecca. The double chair-lift starts to sway dangerously.

William: Ladies, please!

Kate and Jecca take no notice and push him into the retention bar, which knocks the wind out of William. Kate attempts to climb behind William to get at Jecca. The women continue fighting, not noticing that the rope is coming loose from the track. Suddenly the rope gives way and the one side of the car with Jecca on it drops, perilously dangling. William grabs hold of Jecca, holding on for dear life.

Jecca (to William) Don't let me go!!

Kate: (to William) Let her go! Then we can finally be together!

Jecca starts to slip from William's grip.

Jecca: Don't let me go!!

Will William let Jecca go? Or will it be an unfortunate accident? What, if anything, does Prince Philip have to do with this? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal Report for Sunday March 16, 2008 - Should Prince Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?

The next Royal Report will be on Sunday March 23rd, 2008. Inspired by a recent Angus Reid poll on the subject, I will discuss the question: Should the throne skip a generation and go to Prince William instead?

Upcoming Royal Report: Should Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?

Join me for the Royal Report on Sunday March 16th, 2008.

The topic will be: Should Harry have been pulled from Afghanistan?

Note that the show will be on at a different time: 6:00PM Pacific time (9:00PM Eastern time)



© Marilyn Braun 2008

Royal Rant: The succession question

Ah yes, a new poll which includes the question about who people would prefer to succeed the Queen: William or Charles.

I already wrote about this in my article: The Sport of Royal Watchers, so it should be clear on how I feel about the subject. So I'm not going to focus on that. What I will focus on is the paragraph:

So, let me state categorically, for the record, that barring any tragedy..he (Prince Charles) will succeed the Queen as the next King. No Angus Reid poll, heated message board discussions, or your personal opinion on the matter will change that.

When that paragraph was written, it was in the heat of the moment. First of all, regardless of how strongly I feel about this subject, everyone is entitled to their opinion. And there are differing opinions. The comments make that clear. However, when this question is asked I think it focuses less on whether Charles is a capable future monarch and more about Prince William and his good looks. That's probably what bothers me the most about it. Charles is next in line to succeed. Again, barring any unforeseen tragedy, he will become king. It's not a question, it's a fact.

I'm wagering a guess that the people who choose Prince William, answer this question with the Charles/Diana/Camilla tabloid triangle in the back of their minds. Just my opinion. What do most people know of Charles otherwise? Maybe play a word association game in your mind. What is the first thing that comes to you when you think of Charles: Ears? Diana? Tampons? Camilla? I'll be honest, some of these things do come to my mind. But they don't distract from whether he's capable of being a good king. It never occurs to me that the monarchy should skip a generation. Because it can't.

I'm not a monarchist, I'm not necessarily a die-hard fan of Prince Charles. But he's next in line to be King. That's it. No poll results change that. Other than looking the most like Diana, and being young, what qualifies Prince William replace Charles? It's a fact that he will. Eventually. But what are people basing their answer in choosing William? Maybe that's a poll in itself?

I have now grown resigned to the question of whether the succession should skip a generation. But that won't stop me from ranting about it.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

Is Kate Middleton too upwardly mobile?

Minus the evil step-mother, step-sisters, relentless servitude, and fashion savvy mice, it should have been a Cinderella story. The handsome Prince had finally found the woman of his dreams: beautiful, photogenic, stylish, and very patient. And this woman, had found the man of her dreams: titled, rich, socially prominent, and handsome. A love story if there ever was one.

However, other than his title they really have very little in common with the traditional tale. Many even go as far as to say that she schemed her way into Prince William's heart. Cinderella was just a dreamer, looking longingly at the palace as she cleaned house. She didn't apply to the same university as Prince William, or model a diaphanous outfit in front of him. No Cinderelly had sheer luck going for her when her fairy godmother magically appeared in her life.

Modern Cinderella wannabes need more than sheer luck. They need determination and ambitious mothers who see the long-range picture. Mothers who then need to back off and let columnists spin the relationship into a fairytale. Columnists who then turn her daughter into the ideal future princess and inevitable royal bride if only Prince Charming would make up his mind. The ball is now an exclusive club with expensive drinks. Today's glass slipper is now a stylish Jimmy Choo with a three-inch heel; ready to step on anyone who gets in her way. Cinderella never looked so good.

And she only had to contend with her step-mother and step-sisters. Kate Middleton has to deal with something far more virulent: jealous royal watchers who viciously tear her apart for her fashion choices, background, and continued prescence in William's life. A new show called 'William and Kate - A Royal Romance' tackles these snooty royal watchers and palace snoops, with James Hewitt, Diana's one-time toyboy, chiming in for good measure.

Maybe the truth will finally be revealed. More than likely not. But isn't it fun to speculate?

© Marilyn Braun 2008

Royal Report for Sunday March 9th, 2008

Unfortunately, there will be no Royal Report tomorrow night. I dislocated my shoulder earlier in the week, which makes it very difficult to type a script.

Hopefully I will be back to my old self, with two working arms, next week.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal & The Clueless

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, Prince William and Kate Middleton's relationship crisis came to a head, necessitating urgent discussion. This week, they continue talking.

William: Kate, there's something I have to tell you. I think we should cool it for a while.

Kate: But why William? Don't you see that I love you?

William: Yes, but I've got so many things going on...flying planes...dancing with blonde's...

Kate: But our love is real...and true...

William takes Kate in his arms and looks into her eyes

William: Let's make a secret pact, that no one but us will know about until one of our friends leaks it to the media.

Kate: (Breathless) Oh that sounds so wonderful!

William: We need to wait. Put things on hold until I finish my flight training.

Kate: (looks dreamily off into the distance) And then we'll finally be together!

William: Uh...well, yes...then I have to take on royal duties...you know, token charity work...

Kate: Yes, of course. And then we'll finally be together..

William: Uh...well..I have to establish myself in my royal role. That's going to take some time...

Kate: And then we'll finally be together?

William: I'll have my private secretary check my calendar..the earliest would be 2011

On the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless, William and Kate take a make or break holiday, where they continue talking.

© Marilyn Braun 2008

The Royal Report for Sunday March 2nd, 2008 - Should the Diana Inquest end?

Note: This show cut off after 14 minutes. I continued blathering on about the topic for another 15 minutes, finally coming to the conclusion that the inquest will continue, like it or not, and that we should enjoy the ride, in all its voyeuristic glory, while it lasts.

The next show will be on Sunday March 9th 5:00PM PST (8:00PM EST)

The topic will be: Should Prince Harry have been sent home from Afghanistan?

Upcoming Royal Report: Should the Diana Inquest end?

The next Royal Report will be on Sunday March 2nd, 2008.

6:00PM PST (9:00PM EST) Note the time change!!

The topic will be: Should the Diana Inquest come to an end?

© Marilyn Braun 2008