I'm completely misunderstood by everyone, it seems that no matter what I do it's judged mercilessly. I can't seem to please anyone. I try and put the Great back into Great Britain and no one seems to notice. What else do I need to do? I married and had heirs - oh the things I do for England! I carry out engagements, cut ribbons, eat organically, pay attention to my children...why ME? I didn't ask to be born into this position. I just want to be happy, how do I please everyone?
Dear Charles,
Well, thank you for writing in. Whilst I cannot pretend to understand your position, I will try to. If my hours of watching Dr. Phil have taught me, you cannot please everyone, it's a losing battle. However, just because it's a losing battle, doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort. Have you tried hard enough? People can tell if you don't have your heart in it. Remember, if you make a valid attempt, you will never live your life with regrets.
To help you out, I've compiled a list of 25 ways* that you can please everyone:
- Say nothing
- Smile all of the time
- Time permitting, listen to what everyone says
- Do what your parents tell you to do
- Take the advice of everyone
- If advice conflicts, do a half and half split
- Always revere Diana's memory
- Publicly appear weighed down with guilt and regret
- Keep your opinions to yourself and don't make speeches that criticize people
- Make your own jam
- Practice what you preach
- Stay married and don't have an affair
- Sacrifice your personal happiness cheerfully
- Be happy but not too happy
- Answer all of your critics - by letter, email or phone
- Believe what everyone says about you and adapt your behavior accordingly
- Don't answer open ended questions
- Send thank you notes to all of your critics
- Be unfailingly polite, gracious, and generous
- Work hard but pay your own way
- Be nice to everyone - you never know where there's a microphone
- Show modesty and gratitude about your position
- Stay below to radar
- Keep Harry on a short leash
- Abdicate and let William take over
© Marilyn Braun
* Authors note: these are only guidelines, it's unlikely he will please everyone by using them. Don't tell Charles that. You might please me by using them but I'm not everyone. I like to think I am but I'm not. Read my blog regularly and share my blog link with everyone, this will please me too. I make no guarantees, nor do I assume any legal responsibility if you use them. Results may vary. May contains traces of peanuts. Dry clean only. Use caution if you have heart problems, or are pregnant. Keep out of reach of children. Pleasing eveyrone might be bad for your mental health. Consult your therapist for advice on your specific situation.
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