The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 6

On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, Kate Middleton unsuccessfully tried to change her name to Catherine on all previous and future episode posts. In meltdown mode the Queen realized that Kate needs a job to fill her time. After mounting public pressure, and the Queen's invervention, Kate has finally settled down into a job working for her parents company. Satisfied to get everyone off her back, Kate gets to work. It's 9:00AM. Her brow furrows as she tries to figure out how the stapler works. The phone rings and Kate picks it up. Prince William is on the line.

William: Darling, what are you up to?

Kate: I'm at the office. Some of the office equipment just isn't working, I might have to call the repair person. I didn't know this could be so tiring.

William: Well, don't worry about that. Say, what are you doing in 2010?

Kate checks her schedule. It's fully booked with shopping and parties.

Kate: I'm sorry but I'm all booked up

William: Well, clear your schedule because, we're getting engaged!!

Kate: You've said that in 2005, 2006 and 2007 and we're still not engaged.

William: But by 2010 and I will have made up my mind. I'm sure of it.

Kate: I don't know William...

William: Let's go on vacation and talk about it!

Kate: William, I have important work to do.

William: Well, drop it and let's go!

Kate: I can't William. I just can't.

William: (growing petulant) As your boyfriend, future king and possible husband once I make up my mind, I command you to drop everything and do my bidding.

Kate: Don't you remember what granny said?

William: Don't worry about her, she's too busy planning for the State visit to Slovenia

Kate: But I do worry. We need her permission. Royal marriages are regulated by two statutes: the Act of Settlement (1701), and the Royal Marriages Act (1772). The 1701 Act of Settlement laid down that neither a Catholic nor a person marrying a Catholic could come to the throne. The Royal Marriages Act provides that the marriage of any lineal descendant of George II is invalid unless Royal consent has first been obtained. However, if the Sovereign does not give consent, a member of the Royal Family may, at the age of 25, signify to the Privy Council his or her intention to marry without the consent of the Sovereign. The marriage can then lawfully take place unless both Houses of Parliament expressly disapprove.

William: Remind me to change that when I become king. Anyways, a couple of drinks will bring the old girl around.

Kate: I can't William. I just can't.

William: I guess I'll just have to find someone else then..

Does Kate respond to William's hollow threat born of deep seated insecurity? Or does she stick firmly to her newly grown backbone? Find out on the next episode of The Royal & The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2008