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The Royal & The Clueless - Episode 14



On the last episode of The Royal & The Clueless, Kate had a dream that she was 80 and still dating Prince William. Awoken from this dream by the smouldering yet professionally dressed Enrique, Kate vowed to do things differently. She mysteriously disappeared shortly afterwards, leaving royal watchers in a frenzy over her location and whether she was still doing things she should be doing differently. This week, Chelsy Davy broke up with Prince Harry, thus putting more pressure on Kate. Before he leaves for his helicopter training course, William has organized a special tyrst at the stables at Windsor.

Prince William: You know, when I read the reports that said that you were allergic to horses, it greatly concerned me.

Kate: (congested) Those media types never get it right.

Prince William: After all, riding is our life. It's the only thing we royals know how to do properly.

Kate is trying to stifle a sneeze

Kate: Yes, you look so good on parade. All those shiny medals....

Kate's eyes start to water. William looks at Kate. He is touched.

William: Yes it really is moving isn't it? Watching us on parade. I never get the chance to watch myself but it must be impressive.

Kate: (extremely congested and nasally) There's no where else I'd rather be.

William: But there's more to it than parades. There's polo. A royal wife must be able to watch me from the sidelines. It's a tradition. And then stomp the divots during champagne and canapes. (Wistfully) It must be so much fun.

William, pulls her towards him. Kate, unable to hold it any longer, sneezes.

William: Are you okay my darling?

Kate: (nasally) I have a confession to make William

William: (offering her a handkerchief) Yes darling?

Kate: I am allergic to horses

William: (lets Kate go) Oh, I see.

Kate: But, I can still stomp the divots!

William: (brightly) Yes, that's right, you can still stomp the divots. And watch me play polo.

Kate: (blowing her nose) I'll never miss a match

William smiles and grabs a bouquet of flowers that he had hidden in one of the stalls. He hands then to Kate.

William: Well, at least you're not allergic to flowers.

Kate looks at the bouquet wanly and sneezes.

Is Kate allergic to flowers too? Does this spoil her chances of becoming royal? Why isn't Enrique in this episode? Tune in to the next episode of The Royal and The Clueless.

© Marilyn Braun 2009

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