The Kate Middleton story that will not die

Kate Middleton's breakup with Prince William is all over the media. One look at most royalty sites, forums and blogs that cover the British royal family devote posts to this saga. Some blogs, like The Royal Representative have moved on to other royal news. The World of Royalty blog briefly touched on it, and The Monarchist never covered it at all.

Three royal blogs down, six to go (including this one and The Royal Chronicles).

When will this story die?

The Dutch Crown Prince and Princess name their daughter? Queen Margarethe of Denmark turns 67? Nelson Mandela's royal link restored? No comparison. Royal watchers have hit the jackpot. In the absence of a royal death or divorce, it's the current hot topic and, seemingly, an endless source of discussion, speculation and material. Where's an abdication when we need one?

Why did Kate and Will's breakup? What did Kate do? Who dumped who? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Unless Kate writes a book or becomes a reality star, will we be talking about this in a month's time? Who knows? We're still talking about Diana 10 years later.

Will it be five blogs down? Not anytime soon.

But if I get tired of it, I'm reminded of some lyrics:

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

Wanted: Royal Bride

Job Type: Permanent/Full time (after indeterminate probation period)
Location: Clarence House, London, UK
Job Category: Executive
Industry: World Rulers
Company Name: Windsor Inc.
Company URL: www.royal.gov.uk
Experience: None
Number Of Positions: 1
Position Start Date: TBD

The Opportunity

Do you have what it takes to be a future Queen? Are you looking for an opportunity for advancement? If so, an opening has just come up in Windsor Inc. Direct Line division for a Royal Bride.

The British Royal Family has a long history and is one of most well known royal families in the world. The Firm is looking for a Royal Bride to expand operations and provide top level support. Reporting to the Sovereign, the successful incumbent will be a self-starter, and capable of hitting the ground running. Serving the country, you will provide good value while liaising with all levels of society.

An amazing opportunity to take your place in history!

Qualifications

As the wife of the second-in-line to the throne, you should have the following qualifications:

• Ability to give and receive undue deference

• Good judgement and discretion

• Patience and the ability to look the other way

• Keen interest in people and the ability to make small talk

• Sensitivity to all cultures

• Strong fashion sense.

• Physical attractiveness is a definite plus

• Must like flowers

• Capable of operating scissors when opening hospitals, cutting ribbons.

• Must be able to review troops and sit for endless portraits
  

• Ability to ride a horse is an asset.

• Demonstrated skills in speech making and dealing with the media

• Comfortable in a high profile role

• Willingness to travel and a familiarity with the various global divisions

• Advanced Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook skills.

• Able to prioritize and multi-task

• Adaptable to changing duties

• Ability to work effectively in a fast paced and occasionally unpredictable environment.
  
  Benefits
  
  Dental, eyeglasses, vast properties, priceless jewels, generous fashion stipend. Travel to exotic locations.
  
  If this opportunity interests you please contact Trixie at trixie@royalrecruiting.com
  
  We thank you for your interest. Due to the large volume of applicants, only those qualified for the position will be contacted.
  
  © Marilyn Braun 2007
  

Kate Middleton's Future

It's all over the news - Kate Middleton and William have split. I haven't been this shocked since Brad and Jen. What went wrong? They looked so good on the Woolworth commemorative mugs. It's so sad. She invested five years of her life into the relationship. Not to mention all of time we wasted speculating. And for what? Didn't we deserve a happy ending?

Typically Clarence House remains tight lipped. We'll never know the true reason and many trees will fall in speculating. Did William feel up one too many drunken blondes? Did she show too much spunk with the media? What, if anything, did Camilla have to do with this? The questions and possibilities for spin are endless.

Our first instinct might be to feel sorry for her. After all, now that she no longer has to save the monarchy, she has time to think about her future. But don't feel so bad, she has several options before she becomes a royal footnote:

• She can write her autobiography. Nothing eases the pain like cashing in.

• She can parlay her fame into an acting, modelling or singing career. No singing experience required - look at J.Lo and Hilary Duff.

• She can become a motivational speaker, holding seminars on 'How not to become a princess'.

• Design a range of items, like purses or hats, for the discerning royal wannabe.

• Like Fergie, she can write childrens books and endorse Wedgewood.

• She can do tearful appearances on Oprah. And make the cover of Hello magazine looking despondent.

• She can appear on reality shows eating questionable animal parts with Paul Burrell.

• Like spurned Bachelor contestant Trista Rehn, she can become the new Bachellorette.

• She can become a contestant on Dancing with the stars.

• If she's feeling charitable, she could go out with Kevin Federline.

• She can become BFF with Paris Hilton.

And most importantly:

She can get on with her life.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

Note: This article made an online magazine!!!!