Question - How can I please everyone?

Charles from England writes:

I'm completely misunderstood by everyone, it seems that no matter what I do it's judged mercilessly. I can't seem to please anyone. I try and put the Great back into Great Britain and no one seems to notice. What else do I need to do? I married and had heirs - oh the things I do for England! I carry out engagements, cut ribbons, eat organically, pay attention to my children...why ME? I didn't ask to be born into this position. I just want to be happy, how do I please everyone?

Dear Charles,

Well, thank you for writing in. Whilst I cannot pretend to understand your position, I will try to. If my hours of watching Dr. Phil have taught me, you cannot please everyone, it's a losing battle. However, just because it's a losing battle, doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort. Have you tried hard enough? People can tell if you don't have your heart in it. Remember, if you make a valid attempt, you will never live your life with regrets.

To help you out, I've compiled a list of 25 ways* that you can please everyone:

1. Say nothing
2. Smile all of the time
3. Time permitting, listen to what everyone says
4. Do what your parents tell you to do
5. Take the advice of everyone
6. If advice conflicts, do a half and half split
7. Always revere Diana's memory
8. Publicly appear weighed down with guilt and regret
9. Keep your opinions to yourself and don't make speeches that criticize people
10. Make your own jam
11. Practice what you preach
12. Stay married and don't have an affair
13. Sacrifice your personal happiness cheerfully
14. Be happy but not too happy
15. Answer all of your critics - by letter, email or phone
16. Believe what everyone says about you and adapt your behavior accordingly
17. Don't answer open ended questions
18. Send thank you notes to all of your critics
19. Be unfailingly polite, gracious, and generous
20. Work hard but pay your own way
21. Be nice to everyone - you never know where there's a microphone
22. Show modesty and gratitude about your position
23. Stay below to radar
24. Keep Harry on a short leash
25. Abdicate and let William take over

© Marilyn Braun

* Authors note: these are only guidelines, it's unlikely he will please everyone by using them. Don't tell Charles that. You might please me by using them but I'm not everyone. I like to think I am but I'm not. Read my blog regularly and share my blog link with everyone, this will please me too. I make no guarantees, nor do I assume any legal responsibility if you use them. Results may vary. May contains traces of peanuts. Dry clean only. Use caution if you have heart problems, or are pregnant. Keep out of reach of children. Pleasing eveyrone might be bad for your mental health. Consult your therapist for advice on your specific situation.

Camilla's tiara

Well, the Queen opened her vaults and picked out a tiara to lend to Camilla, and what a tiara! The Delhi Durbar tiara has been seen only a handful of times: the Queen Mother wore it in 1947 during a tour of South Africa, and in 1998, it was displayed at Christie's in aid of charity.

The circlet was made by Garrards, especially for Queen Mary during the Delhi Durbar on December 12,1911 - hence its name. Durbar is Hindi, for a 'ceremonial gathering to pay homage'. The gathering was to install King George V and Queen Mary as Emperor and Empress of India. King George V admired this piece and referred to it as "May's best tiara".

It was originally worn with detachable emerald drops and at the Durbar, Queen Mary wore it over a crimson velvet cap. According to the book Tiara's A History of Splendor by Geoffrey Munn, it is designed as a:

'graduated frieze of lyres and forget-me-not leaves and flowers, emblematic of harmony and love, it once supported not only the Cambridge emeralds but also the third and fourth cleavings of the famous Cullinan diamond. The cushion shaped stone of 62 carats was secured by a wire at the highest point of the jewel and the drop-shaped stone weighing 92 carats hung in the oval aperture below.'

The Cullinan III and IV diamonds are known as the Lesser Stars of Africa, they are the most valuable items owned by the Queen, who refers to them as 'Granny's Chips'. These diamonds are no longer in the Delhi Durbar, but are now set in a brooch, whch is rarely worn by the Queen. Queen Mary's Delhi Durbar crown latterly belonged to the Queen Mother, but upon her death it went into the private collection of the Queen.

© Marilyn Braun

Thank you for enjoying this article. If you use the information for research purposes, a link to credit the work I've put into writing it would be appreciated.

References:

Tiaras - A History of Splendor by Geoffrey C. Munn
Tiaras Past and Present by Geoffrey C. Munn
Queens' Jewels by Vincent Meylan
The Royal Jewels by Suzy Menkes
The Queen's Jewels by Leslie Field

Photo of the Delhi Durbar tiara from: Tiaras - A History of Splendor by Geoffrey C. Munn

Camilla's night to shine

I must be psychic. Didn't I predict that Camilla would be wearing a tiara soon? Yes, I think I did.

So, as I've mentioned, the Norwegian royals are coming to town and the big question seems to be - What tiara will Camilla wear? Royal watchers will see this as the ultimate sign that Camilla has been accepted into the family. Imagine the minute speculation if she doesn't show up in one. If Crown Princess Mette-Marit of Norway (unwed mother whose son was fathered by a convicted drug dealer) wears a tiara, what does that say about Camilla?

Of course, she can't wear something that belonged to Diana or any of the other ones I wrote about in Jewels fit for a Queen. The Queen has so many tiaras I'm sure she can find one in the vaults that doesn't have any type of sentimental value with the public. Sometimes the vault isn't even opened: Sarah, Duchess of York didn't get a tiara of her own, and it doesn't seem that Sophie did either. However, Camilla is the wife of the heir to the throne, future Queen/Princess Consort (whichever one she chooses to be known by) and she must look the part.

Personally I think wearing jewellery that has been previously owned is bad luck. I feel that a piece of jewellery is one of the closest things to a persons body and retains the karma the previous owner. I also think it's pretty cheap to not go out and buy a piece especially for me. If I were Camilla, I would mention this to Charles, and convince him to buy something unique and special. So, instead of concentrating on the provence of the tiara, people can focus on how good she looks.

Of course she could also go with the minimalist approach; a woman who doesn't need jewels to shine. In 1962 the Shah and Empress of Iran made a State visit to the Kennedy White House. At a state dinner held in their honor, the Empress wore a gold embroidered dress glittering with sequins and several millions of dollars worth of jewellery. Instead of trying to match the empress, Jacqueline Kennedy wore a sunburst diamond clip in her hair. This minimalist approach was widely praised, but can Camilla pull it off? Going this route, she runs the risk of upstaging the other bedecked royals, something Diana learned to her detriment. If she wears too many jewels she will look like she's trying too hard. Poor Camilla, she just can't win.

Regardless of what she wears, Camilla doesn't need a tiara to prove that she's a member of the royal family; she became one the moment she married Prince Charles and no piece of jewellery can ever diminish that.

Shine on Camilla, shine on.

© Marilyn Braun